Time to buy them roses by the truck load and them ‘Godiva’ Chocolates and for some of you folks, time to get them VS under-garments! I don’t know… I should have bought them flowers and choco-stuff but I didn’t and now, I am single and hoping for my Princess to stop by @ my place. But I guess, life ain’t no fairy tale and it’s very tough to find a smart, gharelu women these days. Either they are smart like that Harvard President… no I ain’t talking about ghamandi Larry Summers but the new chick in town…. Or they like to shop like some Fifth Ave. Princesses even though they are not and their dough comes from their ghoos-khori baaps and bank-ko-loan-khaney so-called rich businessmen of Nepal! And what’s this ‘gharelu’ thing? No, I am not looking for a slave, I am just looking for a woman, who will teach me, “Theory of relativity” while cooking, a mean Chicken curry and of course, I will take out the trash and do the dishes… if that helps!

I did meet a gal once… she went to the right schools, she cooks like one of them Iron Chefs and although she might walk funny and talk like she just ate a bag full of habaneras; I really hope someday… she will be a mother of my child or children, depending on what my net worth will be in the future. But of course, I have no hopes of bagging this woman of my dreams… because I am more likely to hit the Mega Millions Jackpot than really hook up with her. (sorry, no disrespect to our feminist sisters out there or if it was K-Fed… then he would say, ‘I apologize to all the grocery baggers out there.’

And even if I did win that Mega Jackpot, she wouldn’t hang out with me because she really wants to change the world. I hope she doesn’t become the next Mother Teresa because then, I will have to think about my next life instead of this one! What went wrong? Well, I did ask her once, ‘What’s my chances of getting ziggy with you?” And She replied with her ‘Hepburn’-like voice… “How about one in a billion?” Well, there goes my luck! Now, I got to compete with all single guys, including that Ethiopian dude, running after the already-starving chicken!

But to make all Ethiopians happy, I would like to say, ‘Ethiopian gals are the hottest in dah world’ and no… Miss ‘hit me with a cell phone’ Campbell is not from Ethiopia. She is a Jamaican and she needs to get some grass so that she can weed out once in a while! No, I am not a doper. Say No to Drugs, kids! But Methadone is a completely different story. I know you will never be famous but if you want to feel like a celebrity, please do take Methadone. It might help you with… I don’t know; go to heaven much sooner than anticipated!

Okay, let’s get back to the ‘Valentine’s Day’ story. V-Day (okay, not that WWII thing!) is not about impressing your partner. Well, it might be but you can still buy gifts (although it isn’t necessary!) for your family and tell them, how much you really appreciate their love and support. I may have learned nothing so far in life, but one thing I do realize is that no matter what, your parents, your siblings, your blood will always stick with you. They will be there for you when the world has turned its back. They will be there for you when you screw up, even if it’s for the 1,443,231th time. They will always be there for you, rain or shine for they love you for who you are… not like the rest of the world, where you are expected to be someone else!

So, this Valentine’s Day, I would like to wish my family and yours, a very very happy V-Day. Thanks for all the love and support and hopefully, someday, we will turn out alright and not embarrass our families with our crazy nataks! And for the future-mother of my children, please don’t give up. I may not have a PhD; I may not have a nice 500K house. I don’t even have a car but darling, all I have is me (I know that’s not enough!) and I also know how to do that, ‘Brazilian Wax’ thing, so you might save a bunch of dineros.

Think about it and Yes, all them pretty boys and their fancy cars and big-wig titles and 100 grand in the bank will get you all the financial security you may or may not need… but will they give you the love and support you need to really reach for the stars? Okay, I don’t want you to be like that Crazy Astro-nut but I know these @#$%^-wads … they talk like liberals but are more conservative than Mullah Omar and his rock band, ‘The Talibans!” Baby, I want you to be the Harvard President in 2020! And I will be your Good Will Hunting [although I nearly failed that SLC ko optional math thing!] That’s funny, well maybe not for you but …. Happy Valentine’s Day!