Thousands of our MaoBaddies Rambos are leaving their camps and seeking employment in neighboring villages. What is this a joke? Where did all that money go? Let’s ask Prachandu Uncle! Sorry, he ain’t a greedy man but who the hell is the CFO of Maobadi Inc. Prachandu Baba is the Chairman, President, CEO and ‘the One’. BabuRam is like the guy stuck between two fat Biharis (with respect to all those who may have had Bihari links in their DNA!) in a third-class rail somewhere in Gorakhpur! Dr. Bob (let’s give him an Angrezi Naam!) is stuck. He still doesn’t have enough cronies in the boardroom to oust the Chairman. I think he needs to read that book ‘How to win friends and influence people’ or something like that. Maybe, I got the title wrong but Dr. Baburam needs to go back and do some urban planning instead of reminding us that we haven’t lost enough lives to call this natak… a ‘revolution!’
So who is the Maobadi guy who handles all the dinero? And what kind of jobs remain in them villages where our Maobadi Rambos are looking for work? Yes, if you hammer a nail in that spot (somewhere) in your brain, you might be able to quit smoking but it’s very hard to stop taking chickens, utensils and khaat and bhaat from poor farmers! Our young men from villages are now working like slaves in the Far East and either our Mao Rambos are dumb enough to look for jobs in the villages or they are looking forward to going back to them days when it was easy to get a decent meal and a nice bed just by pointing a gun @ innocent villagers!
And what happened to our Maobadi military commanders? They can make 10,000 Amriki dollars if they join a private security firm in Iraq, advising the Amriki Rambos on how to fight this insurgency thing! Think about it. Don’t depend on them MaoBadi Inc. corporate officers. Okay, it’s not worth dying in Iraq when you can make billions more if you can just wait and wait and when the time is right, you can rule Nepal better than Stalin did with that funny kingdom called the Soviet Union!
Ever since the 17th century, Nepalese people have no idea where all them dineros end up. Okay, the Ranas had the most fun, having grand parties, building Palaces and treating others like dirt. After that, some of our netas have had grand parties, some have built their own palaces and all of them have treated us like dirt! Let’s not blame the Maoists alone. Yes, I am changing my tune. From now on, I am blaming myself for all them problems. Yes, I take full responsibility and you should do too! We are to blame for all our problems ever since Sita married that guy from India!
We have been infected with this ‘virus’… let’s give it a name, ‘Nakacharo’ .. I don’t know …sounds exotic and better than ‘colitis’ or ‘”. We live in a culture where we like to brag about how ‘we are all different but we are the same’ but we do know deep inside that we would rather be happy to hang out with our own ‘ethnic’ folks and make fun of other folks who may not share the same surname or something!
We think we are cool because we listen to all kinds of music, from hip-hop to country and we watch all kinds of movies and what not but we still can’t appreciate our own music, books and movies! Okay, the movies are a big joke, please no more running around trees and that village boy falls in love with city girl natak but how can we blame them when our politics, marriage, food and even simple stuff have a heavy doze of ‘desi’ influence!
Yes, we are stuck with this ‘Bihari Politics’ but even the Desis have moved on. Laloo Prasad is still the Emperor of Bihar but he is now the Railway Minister or something. When our leaders run to Delhi for a packet of Hajmola, they should also look around and see the changes going on in India. Listen to DJ Singh and his ‘Bhangra-Economics’ re-mix… maybe our netas will learn something.
And for our Maobadi comrades, if you are so communist then go to Kerala and eat, dance and do some sun-bathing or something and bring back the ‘Kerala Karela’ attitude where kids beg not for candy bars but pencils and pen… where folks live a healthy and long life (avg. is like 77!) and are better educated than the Amrikanos even though they may live in simple homes and eat simple food. Yes, it’s about time… our leaders come up with a master plan and if they can’t… just follow and help us follow this simple mantra… ‘Simple living & High thinking’… whatever that means!
BTW, I live like a hermit but so far my thinking hasn’t progressed. I still do act like a juvenile delinquent now and then. Maybe, I should move to Kerala. Ayo Nepali Comrade!
And nothing wrong with Sita marrying Ram or General Thapa’s daughter marrying some Prince from India. Follow your heart and someday when a Kami’s daughter will marry a guy from the Priestly Clan then we can say, ‘Yes, Nepal has changed….at last!’
